Vocaloid Crack
by Kuryou-san
Summary: Just a crackfic I made for Vocaloid...in Len's P.O.V. Warning: This fic contains swearing. Just read and review!


(LEN'S P.O.V) Vocaloid Crack

A.N: This is a total crackfic that I came up with for all of you Kagamine Len and Rin fans! Well...all you Vocaloid fans! This, again is a crackfic made completely for entertainment purposes only. The characters belong to their respective owners, whilist this fanfiction belongs to me.

DISCLAIMER: Nope, don't own Vocaloid, either.

WARNING: Repeated swearing, an octopus, bitch slaps, groping, etc.

It seemed to be a abnormal normal day at the Vocaloid house; Miku cooking, Kaito flirting with Rin, Rin trying to beat the living shit out of Kaito with a banana, Meiko and Gumi having one of their chats, one of which no one could really understand, Gakupo hitting on women...yeah, you get the picture.

But me...well, I'm laying on my bed, laptop in front of me. My eyes scan the page's content and I immiediately fall in love with what I see. As I try to edit the next track I'm working on, my sister Rin comes dashing into the room, Kaito not far behind. I watch as Kaito shuts the door, and advances on my dear sister.

I shut my laptop quickly, hoping neither of them saw what I was working on, a song for Rin's quickly upcoming birthday. Surely enough, neither of them saw the computer screen, too focused on what was happening currently. I stand up, and step between the two. "Rin...Kaito," I spoke, my tone low, "What in good gravy happened?"

Rin shot me a dark look. Kaito smirked,hugs me and holds up Rin's banana. I shake my head, pull out a rather large fish, bitch slap Kaito with it, then take Rin's banana back. She smiles happiliy towards me, then kicks me right in the balls. I squeak, falling to my knees. I cough up spit. Hell, I could've coughed up my balls, judging by how hard my sister kicked them, then I look to her for an explanation, my eyes watering. "R-Rin...what was that for?" My voice squeaks, the pain still lingering. "It was'nt the banana!" Rin said, "He groped me then he tried to make out with Gumi!" My eyes widened at her sudden outburst. I hugged her, wincing a little as I moved.

Rin just watched as Gakupo came up the stairs, a rather unattractive look gracing his features. Rin and I watch as Gakupo just grabs Kaito's foot, and drags the unconcious blue-haired male away, accidentally hitting his head against the door's exterior. "Oops," Gakupo snickers. It may've seemed funny, but he would hurt the next morning, judging by the way Gakupo kept slamming Kaito's head into the doorpost. It was just unavoidable.

Well, I did'nt exactly have to knock him out to get him to stop, but, oh well...

Suddenly, the cast of High School Musical appeared and did a big number about sticking together, which was so bad I pulled out a bazooka and detroyed pretty much the whole side of the Vocaloid house. (Shit, Miku's gonna kill me.) Then, I saw some random dude just come running up the stairs, steal Rin's banana, and swan dive out the window like Tomb Raider. Unfortunately for him, there was a rose bush under the window. He landed in it and got stuck, but no one really gave a shit about him.

Kaito came back in, a large welt on his head, and a frozen steak on it. Rin burst into spontaneous laughter at how god damn stupid he looked, but before she could roll over laughing, a giant octopus reached through the window, bitch slapped Kaito again, then dissapeared to wherever octopuses dissapear to. I smirked a little. Watching Kaito get bitch slapped repeatedly is like watching Llamas With Hats or The Cloak over and over again.

Rin seemed to find it really funny too, because she doubled over in laughter as well. But, our fun was short lived, as Miku came up the stairs with a rocket launcher, shouting, "THIS IS SPARTAAA!" She blasted the rocket launcher towards us. At impact, I was launched out the window.

I landed in the ocean, and swam three miles back to shore. By the time I got back, my clothes were soaked, my shirt was filled with seaweed, I had a fish in my boxers, and there were rocks and sand in my shoes. Rin found it really funny as I reached down and pulled the offensive fish from my boxers.

Miku was laughing hard too, and I noticed a bottle of sake in her hand. "Miku, have you been drinking again?" I asked. She looked at me with hazy eyes, and shouted, "I LOVE PASTAAA~!" I hit my head on the wall nearest to me, and she smiled again. She went over to me, then pressed her lips against my own. To her chagrin, Rin came up behind her and hit her in the back of the head with a baseball bat. I laughed more, and Miku hit me with Kaito's dirty underwear. Unsurprisingly, they were women's underwear, kind of confirming my suspicions that Kaito is actually a woman...creepy.

Alright,here's when things get interesting: I walked by Kaito's door, and heard grunting noises and moaning...I opened the door a crack, and he was having sex with MIKU! Obviously, there's a secret flame here...I just hope I can stay alive long enough to be able to be with someone...maybe my dear sister...uh...did I just say that out loud?

OK, it may be clear to you that this house is pretty much the STRANGEST and most dangerous house in Japan.

But let me tell you something:

This is completely normal.

A.N: YAY~! Done with my first Vocaloid fic! Review please~! I'd love to know what you think! I think the ending came out good.


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